It's just easier

I have heard so many women say they don’t know if they are going to be able to breastfeed.  It just seems like so much “work” and “bottle feeding just seems easier”.  Easier?  I think someone may have given you the wrong idea!

There are many reasons some women choose not to breastfeed, but please don’t be fooled into thinking formula and a bottle is going to be “easier”, because it’s not.  I can’t imagine using bottles regularly!  I am not trying to be sarcastic here, I seriously don't know how so many women do it!  "Breast is best" and that may be true for baby, but it is also very true for me.  I find breastfeeding so convenient and easy, and the idea of having to schedule feedings, prepare and clean bottles, and do this all day and night long is enough to cause me serious anxiety.  I am so grateful I have been able to nurse my kids.

True, in the beginning some women can experience some difficulties and discomfort when first nursing.  The first couple weeks of nursing are spent with both mother and baby learning to breastfeed and it can be harder for some mother/baby couples.  In these situations, finding a good lactation consultant as soon as possible can be the difference between breastfeeding success and failure.

But once breastfeeding is established, it becomes the most convenient and easy thing to do.  It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, you have milk for your hungry baby at a moments notice.  Anybody that has had a baby crying for food knows you can’t feed them fast enough.  Listening to them cry while your prepare a bottle sounds like torture!  Sure, Most of the time you probably get the bottle ready before they start crying, just like I usually nurse before they are that hungry.  But there are those times when baby wants to eat.right.now. and I am so grateful in those moments that all I have to do it pull up my shirt.

So do I nurse because it is better for my baby?  Yes.  Do I nurse because I enjoy the bonding experience it provides?  Yes.  Do I nurse because it is the natural way my instincts tell me to feed my baby?  Yes.  But I also nurse because it is the simplest, fastest, most convenient way I can feed my baby no matter what is going on in my crazy life and I need that!  Why make my life more complicated than it already is?  Besides, I’m lazy!

Why do I nurse in public?

So many people don't understand why I choose to nurse in public.  I thought it might be fun to answer a few common questions.  Let me know if you think I missed any.

Why do you nurse in public?
Simply, because my baby is hungry.

Why not go to a bathroom?
Why don't you eat in a bathroom?  Because it's disgusting, that's why!  I am not going to feed my baby in a small room filled with flushing toilets.  Enough said.

Why not go somewhere more private?
1st, because my baby is hungry now and I don't want to make them wait.  2nd, because I am comfortable where I am and don't want to stop what I am doing, gather my stuff, and possibly leave the place I am at just to find a private location... that is not a bathroom.

Why not use a bottle?
Because my baby prefers my breast.  Because it is time consuming to pump and wash bottles.  Because I don't want to have to carry around the extra baggage of bottles and ice in my already overflowing diaper bag.

Can't you at least use a cover?
I could, but my baby hates it and always grabs it off their head.  Also, it is hot and I don't feel like adding another layer of anything to me and my baby.  And did I mention the overflowing diaper bag?

But what if someone sees your breast?
Chances are they see more breast exposure walking through the zoo on a hot day or walking down the magazine isle at a store.  I am feeding my baby.  If someone sees that, oh well.

But what if you offend someone?
I understand there are people that may be very uncomfortable with seeing part of a woman's exposed breast.  Unfortunately, it is not my job or obligation to worry about every stranger who may or may not be offended, it is my job to look after and feel my baby.  If someone is offended by me taking care of my child because of some deep cultural or religious reason, then so be it, I have offended them.  I can live with that knowing that it was not my intent and that the comfort of my baby takes priority over that of a stranger.  But if it is some hypocritical person that has no issue watching nudity and sexual content on tv but can't handle watching a breast being used for it's intended purpose, then they can just get over themselves.

So why do I nurse in public?
Because it's the best thing for me and my baby and I put my child's needs above my social awkwardness or the threat of offending some stranger that may walk by.


Related post: Try not to hide

Try not to Hide

Nursing in public can be socially awkward.  People don’t know how to react when they see a nursing mom.  I have always been a huge supporter of nursing even long before having kids myself, but I also vividly remember glancing over and seeing a mother nursing her infant and quickly looking away so she wouldn’t see that I had seen her.  At the time, I was confused that she had chosen to nurse there and not somewhere more out of sight.

Then I had my first baby.  I loved nursing and nursed on demand.  If my baby was tired or hungry, I would nurse him, no matter where we were.  It was easy enough to stay covered and as long as no one could see anything, I didn’t worry about it.

I never used a blanket while nursing at home, so both my baby and I found using them in public frustrating and I eventually stopped trying.  It didn’t really matter though because it was easy enough to be discreet.  Then, around 5 months old, my baby started suddenly pulling off to investigate every person or sound nearby.  I tried pumping and bringing bottles with me, but my baby wouldn’t drink from them.  So since I didn’t use a blanket, I started nursing in the car.  It was quiet and if he pulled off, I didn’t have to worry about flashing anyone.

Then everyone kept asking me if my baby was weaned yet, starting at a pretty young age.  This is a totally different topic for a different day, but by the time my baby was 9 months old, I hardly ever nursed when we were out and always did it in secrecy when I did.  I continued to nurse him through the toddler years, but always at home where no one would know.

It makes me sad that I let my perception of what was socially acceptable affect me so greatly.  Luckily, shortly after my second was born, I met a wonderful group of moms that shared a lot of the same parenting philosophies (see Finding Your Flock).  I was amazed at how many of them openly nursed in public.  Even toddlers.  And without using a blanket!

I quickly learned that there were laws in our state that actually protected a woman’s right to nurse her child anywhere she was allowed to be, private or public property.  (find out about the laws in your state)  But more importantly than knowing the law, just seeing that I was not alone, that other mothers also nursed their babies in public, when they were hungry, and that they did so with confidence and without hiding is what made the biggest difference for me.  This group of women gave me the courage to do what I already knew in my heart was the right thing for my baby. 

I now confidently nurse my babies and toddlers in public whenever they need it.  I don’t hide, I don’t ask, I just sit down where ever I feel comfortable and feed them.  I am sure there have been times when my 5 month old has flashed entire restaurants when someone drops a plate.  People at the zoo have probably seen my breast when my toddler suddenly decides they are ready to see the elephants.  I can’t say that I am immune to being embarrassed, but I think it is important to nurse in public anyway.

I nurse my child in public because they need to.  But I nurse in public confidently because that is what society needs, even if that confidence isn’t quite as solid as I make it look!  I honestly feel it is important for me to look people in the eye, smile, and send a message that we don’t have to hide.  I am nursing my baby, but I am also helping a new mother find her confidence and showing young girls that nursing is a natural, beautiful thing to do.  I want to help other mothers the way other women were able to help me.

So whether you use a blanket or not, know that you are doing more than just nursing your baby, you are influencing the mothers and fathers of the future one feeding at a time!  Try not to hide, nurse with pride!

Too old to nurse

Nursing a toddler can be an adventure.  They climb and fidget and often request quick drinks before running off again.  But as chaotic and frustrating as it can sometimes be, it is also a joy and I am so glad I have continued to nurse my kids well past the infant stage.

I always knew I wanted to nurse my babies, but I had never pictured myself nursing someone that could ask!  I remember my mom telling me I nursed until I was two and thinking that was so weird.  I knew 2 year olds and couldn’t imagine myself nursing one.

But when my first reached a year, it was obvious to me that neither of us was ready to wean.  Then he turned 2 and although he didn’t nurse often, he still liked to nurse before bed and occasionally when he was just having an off moment and needed some extra love.

Now I was the one nursing a two year old and it was weaning him that I couldn’t imagine.  Nursing seemed as natural as hugging him.  I didn’t know how long I would continue to nurse him and at what point I would decide he was “too old”, but I knew now wasn’t the time.

Turned out I never had to make that choice.  He initiated weaning a few months after turning two and although there was a point when he asked and I said no, it was only after he had made it clear he was ready to stop nursing.  There were no tears, no pleading, just an “okay” when I offered him something else to drink.

I am so glad I let my instincts determine how long I nursed my children and not a number.  And when my mother later admitted that I still occasionally nursed when I was 3, I no longer thought she was weird.  Instead, I felt her love that had inspired her to keep nursing.